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The Ten-Year Nap Paperback – 2 July 2009
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For a group of four New York friends, the past ten years have been defined by marriage and motherhood.
Educated to believe that they and their generation would conquer the world, they nonetheless left high-powered jobs to stay at home with their babies. What was intended as a temporary time-out has turned into a decade. Now at forty, with their kids growing up, Amy, Jill, Roberta and Karen wake up to a life and a future that is not what they intended. Illicit affairs, money problems, issues with children and husbands all rear their heads, and the friends wonder if it's time for a change...
- Print length352 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherVintage
- Publication date2 July 2009
- Dimensions12.9 x 2.2 x 19.8 cm
- ISBN-100099523485
- ISBN-13978-0099523482
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Review
This one shouldn't be only for chicks. It's for everyone. It asks far-reaching questions about the place of women in society and within the family unit, but it asks also whether life has been fair to men ― Daily Telegraph
The latest novel from the excellent Meg Wolitzer presents four New York mothers emerging from a decade in babyland... a wonderful study of muddy equivocation, a hilarious yet compassionate examination of the primordial slime and the modern woman ― Guardian
Terrific... Wolitzer's novels have always been exemplars of the motto that the personal is political... [Offers] many pleasing, surprising contrasts ― The Times
It made me think about a woman's eternal problem of balancing the love she has for her children with what to do when they finally leave home. A serious, meaty read ― Essentials
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Vintage; First Riverhead Trade Paperback Edition (2 July 2009)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 352 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0099523485
- ISBN-13 : 978-0099523482
- Dimensions : 12.9 x 2.2 x 19.8 cm
- Best Sellers Rank: 590,383 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- 3,345 in Cultural Heritage Fiction
- 6,694 in Love, Sex & Marriage Humour
- 8,704 in Women's Literary Fiction (Books)
- Customer reviews:
About the author

Meg Wolitzer is the New York Times bestselling author of The Interestings, The Uncoupling, The Ten-Year Nap, The Position, and The Wife. Her new novel, The Female Persuasion, has been named a most-anticipated book of the year by Time Magazine, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, New York Magazine, and more. She was the guest editor of The Best American Short Stories 2017, and lives in New York City.
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Top reviews from United Kingdom
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- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 13 May 2009I really enjoyed reading this book and as bloke in his late forties that might be surprising. It is a well written easy book to read. If you have had kids you will recognise yourself in here. It is a sort of Nick Hornby for girls.
Although set in New York written by a Canadienne/australian it is not at all irritating
My wife enjoyed it I will buy it for my sister
- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 9 May 2019Have loved this author for a long time. This book does not disappoint. Same beautiful prose you expect from Meg Wolitzer.
5.0 out of 5 starsHave loved this author for a long time. This book does not disappoint. Same beautiful prose you expect from Meg Wolitzer.Another win for excellent author
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 9 May 2019
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- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 April 2022As a stay at home mom myself, I was expecting this to be generally more interesting and relatable. I found the whole novel rather dull and characters uninteresting or unlikeable. This is my second Meg Wolitzer novel and I had mixed feelings with her previous work too, even though I really wanted to like her.
- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 November 2008'All around the country, the women were waking up. Their alarm clocks bleated one by one, making soothing sounds or the strumming of a favourite song'.
The novel is structurally clever - primarily from the point of view of Amy Lamb but also exploring the lives of her three friends who are also stay-at-home mothers, though once they all had full-on careers. The ten year nap refers to the ten year gap from work - the at-home time Amy has had with her son Mason. It also about the nap from taking financial responsibility and from ambition. There are flashbacks to a seventies women's group and their preoccupations and visions of the future. The disappointment of the previous generation of women in Amy's is personified in Amy's mother who keps encouraging her to take socially meaningful work. Amy wakes up in the course of this novel and it's to her own life - not any kind of vision or romantic dream.
I see M's reservations in her review but for me this novel works because Wolitzer's observation is so good and sharp - her ability to describe the dilemmas and preoccupations of this generation of mothers is excellent.
- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 20 August 2013Although now at the Granma stage I loved this book. It took me back to when as a graduate mum I shared some of the characters' dilemmas . I can see my daughter going through some of the same tensions as a clever but stay at home mum and my feelings about this are also given voice. It is very well written and carefully observed . I liked being able to hear her 'voice' and feel the atmosphere of Manhattan.The cast was well representative of the school gate ; it's clear life was going to have to change and the road to change was varied and interesting.
- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 15 August 2008I have to confess that this book isn't at all what I'd normally choose ... but I bought it (aargh, any chance of my money back?) on the strength of a fulsome recommendation of the author on the Persephone Books website.
But although (most of the time, not all of the time) I love Persephone Books, this is one of those authors on whom we part company.
Is it fair to call it chick-lit? It is superior chick-lit for the whinging yummy-mummy generation. Written from a very American perspective, these upper middle-class women have given up high-powered jobs to raise children - and are now wringing their hands about the choices they have made and doors that are now closed to them. It's a quick read, it's skilfully written, it's much more adept than most of its genre and I skipped through several chapters in the bath/on the train .. but, really, I simply didn't care much about these educated, wealthy women and their angst (even those who whinge about money are married to lawyers). You know what it's like, when you get pinioned at a party by the 'sad mummies', desperate for conversation, but they can't talk about anything but their kids and the local schools ... well, this is it in book form!
But one thing I did warm to, is that Wolitzer makes it clear that the world of work isn't everything it's cracked up to be, and that it's a big fat lie that everybody is blessed with some talent/passion/ambition.
Apparently, she hung around in a cafe on New York's east-side listening to desperate housewives' conversation ... and if anybody's interested, the Golden Horn where the mommies hang out in the book is really Three Guys at 89th and Madison.
- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 13 March 2010...there sure was an awful lot of whining going on. I wasn't particularly "taken" by most of the characters, self-involved women (and some men), living mainly on New York City's Upper East and West Sides. The main character, Amy, had a lawyer-husband and a 10 year old son. She had stopped working as a lawyer when her son was born and seemed to miss working, but not enough to stop whining about it and go back to work. Her mother was a proto-feminist, based in Toronto. Other characters, mothers of sons who attended an elite day school, drifted through the story.
Amy's closest friend from college - the daughter of a suicide - had left Manhattan for a leafy suburb in either New Jersey or New York, with her husband and adopted daughter from Russia. The daughter was not quite "with-it" and the mother felt little emotional connection with the child.
I kept waiting for the parents to have an "aha" moment and take the kid to be tested. Nope, didn't happen til the end.
Other friends had other "issues". I basically wanted to slap them all and say "quit whining and do something".
I would advise not investing a great deal of time or money in this book. If you haven't already bought it, wait til it's out in trade paper or borrow it from the library.
Top reviews from other countries
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PaolaReviewed in Italy on 16 September 2017
5.0 out of 5 stars wonderful and witty
I have learned that M.Wolitzer always delivers on her promise of a fun and nice read, but with the underlying and solid truth about feminism and the condition of women today and in the past 30 years. Most of the stuff is totally relatable and she has a true gift for putting it into exquisite words.
- Jill I. ShtulmanReviewed in the United States on 29 May 2008
4.0 out of 5 stars The Ten-Year Nap Is NOT A Snooze
Meg Wolitzer tackles one of the questions that has been a source of debate for a generation now: why do women make the individual choices that they do? What -- if anything -- do women gain and lose by becoming stay-at-home moms? How does a woman find value in an age that defines her worth by her paycheck and her status in the working world?
In browsing through other reviews of this book, it seems as if this debate is live and well. Some passionately defend choices of stay-at-home moms; others not so much. And that's clearly the point: the answer is as individual as the woman herself. On becoming a mother, a woman often needs to tackle her love of her child with her desire to "be someone" more than a mom. There is no "right" answer.
The women in this novel -- Amy, Jill, Roberta, Karen, and Penny -- are all fully-developed (some more than others) in their quest for defining themselves in lives very different from those they were brought up to expect. The author uses an interesting device -- incorporating four or five page "fill" stories of their moms between chapters. To me, those stories rang less true; it is too easy, I think, to present feminist struggles when, in reality, most women of that generation sort of "fell into" their new roles rather than becoming aggressively involved in defining them.
Some of the conclusions -- no spoilers -- such as the story of Jill and her adopted daughter were a little too unrealistic for me; the challenge Jill faces is not so neatly wrapped up in real life. But all in all, I found this book immensely readable and, in my mind, the best of the Meg Wolitzer novels I have read.
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Mrs. BookloverReviewed in Germany on 12 March 2020
3.0 out of 5 stars Etwas mühsamer Klischee Kampf
...wieder ein Titel von Meg Wollitzer der mich am Ende etwas enttäuscht hat. Ja, ein realistischer Ansatz und vermutlich auch immer noch gültiger Umgang mit Frauen in Baby Pause, am Ende für mich zu viel erwartbare und oberflächliche Figuren...schade
- LehrerinReviewed in Germany on 14 January 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars Like
I like the writer and I liked this book. I think mostly mothers, either of young children or grown children, would particularly like this novel as it is about balancing motherhood and work or other dreams and plans of mothers (always an issue for any mother I think)
- G. CatReviewed in the United States on 28 June 2010
3.0 out of 5 stars A good read
I owned this book for a long time before I read it. I thought it would be harsh towards stay-at-home moms, as the title "the Ten-year nap" has a negative connotation. I have been a stay-at-home mom for 11 years, but I have recently been hired for a full time postion, so I thought maybe it was time to read the book. I'm glad I did. Although, I don't love the book and won't re-read it, I will pass it along to somebody who may enjoy it. I felt the author was kind to her characters, she didn't judge them but let them be themselves.
I'm not sure this is a book everyone will be able to relate to. Most of the characters were upper middle class, and although there were a few who were not, they were very minor characters, although their point of view did add to the book. There was very little from the male perspective, although there was a part written from the point of view of Amy's father that was very enlightening and made me understand her a bit more (she was like her dad in some ways).
I do think that this book sheds some light on the so called "mommy wars". Although her characters sometimes are unkind and judge each other, by dealing with her characters in a mostly kind and non-judgemental way and by presenting each person as a unique individual Wolitzer does take a stand. We should deal with each other in a kind and non-judgemental and individual way.
I still dislike the title, although perhaps it is meant to be ironic. Although sometimes it seems as if staying home to raise one's kids is like taking a nap from the real world, it really isn't. Caring for children is meaningful work. And speaking for myself, I have developed skills and expertise in a variety of areas (child and non-child related) during the time I've been a stay-at-home mom. I would have liked to have seen some of the characters have interests and hobbies that they'd developed over the years. Work and child-raising aren't the only things in life and a person who has a career for a decade who has not developed in any area besides work would have a "10 year nap" too, I would think!