
Amazon Prime Free Trial
FREE Delivery is available to Prime members. To join, select "Try Amazon Prime and start saving today with FREE Delivery" below the Add to Cart button and confirm your Prime free trial.
Amazon Prime members enjoy:- Cardmembers earn 5% Back at Amazon.com with a Prime Credit Card.
- Unlimited FREE Prime delivery
- Streaming of thousands of movies and TV shows with limited ads on Prime Video.
- A Kindle book to borrow for free each month - with no due dates
- Listen to over 2 million songs and hundreds of playlists
Important: Your credit card will NOT be charged when you start your free trial or if you cancel during the trial period. If you're happy with Amazon Prime, do nothing. At the end of the free trial, your membership will automatically upgrade to a monthly membership.
Buy new:
$14.25$14.25
Ships from: Amazon.com Sold by: Amazon.com
Save with Used - Good
$9.97$9.97
Ships from: Amazon Sold by: Dream Books Co.

Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.
Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.
Image Unavailable
Color:
-
-
-
- To view this video download Flash Player
Follow the author
OK
Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse Paperback – August 25, 2016
Purchase options and add-ons
- Print length284 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateAugust 25, 2016
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.64 x 8.5 inches
- ISBN-100997829087
- ISBN-13978-0997829082
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.

Explore your book, then jump right back to where you left off with Page Flip.
View high quality images that let you zoom in to take a closer look.
Enjoy features only possible in digital – start reading right away, carry your library with you, adjust the font, create shareable notes and highlights, and more.
Discover additional details about the events, people, and places in your book, with Wikipedia integration.
Frequently bought together

Customers who viewed this item also viewed
- Psychological abusers do not take responsibility for their actions, so that must be flung onto someone else.Highlighted by 3,374 Kindle readers
- The core inherent faulty thinking of abusers is that everything revolves around them.Highlighted by 3,239 Kindle readers
- Abusers like to target people who have something they do not or cannot possess themselves.Highlighted by 3,140 Kindle readers
Editorial Reviews
Review
Shannon Thomas has written an important book about something ugly, hidden, and difficult to describe. Psychological abuse. How is it possible that one person can gain so much power to destroy another person s sense of worth, safety, and sanity? Shannon tells you how, but more importantly, she gives you a roadmap that helps you wake up, break free, heal, and rebuild your shattered life. --Leslie Vernick LCSW, counselor, coach, speaker, and author of The Emotionally Destructive Marriage and The Emotionally Destructive Relationship.
Few writers are able to connect research, experience, and intuitive understanding as Shannon Thomas does in her groundbreaking new book for survivors of emotional and psychological trauma. In Healing from Hidden Abuse, you will find not only evidence of Shannon's expertise as a therapist who has worked with clients suffering from the trauma of covert psychological abuse, but also her powerful mastery of the crucial questions that are needed in order to work through the trauma and heal. --Shahida Arabi, author of Becoming the Narcissist s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself and founder of Self-Care Haven.
About the Author
Bridging clinical advice with pop culture language, Thomas approaches her counseling work and writing from the lens of a therapist and as a fellow survivor of psychological abuse. Her first book, Healing from Hidden Abuse, is an international bestseller, has been published in multiple languages, and serves as a road map for book studies and host groups in eleven countries and thirty-five states across the United States. Thomas also coined the "Six Stages of Healing from Hidden Abuse" model, which has been met with favorable reviews and high applause from readers and medical professionals across the world.
Thomas has been featured in top media outlets including The Oprah Magazine, Associated Press, Business Insider, Reader's Digest, Yahoo!, Yahoo! Finance, Teen Vogue, Elite Daily, and Bustle.
Product details
- Publisher : MAST Publishing House (August 25, 2016)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 284 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0997829087
- ISBN-13 : 978-0997829082
- Item Weight : 13.4 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.64 x 8.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #24,071 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #19 in Domestic Partner Abuse (Books)
- #28 in Abuse Self-Help
- #284 in Christian Self Help
- Customer Reviews:
Videos
Videos for this product
0:35
Click to play video
Journal and questions at the end great for self reflection
Allyssa
About the author

Shannon Thomas, LCSW is the international bestselling author of Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse and Exposing Financial Abuse: When Money is a Weapon, and the owner/lead therapist of an award-winning counseling practice. Thomas is the co-founder of Keep Dreaming Big Project, a IRS-approved 501 (c)(3), which grants life-enriching wishes for survivors of abuse.
Bridging clinical advice with pop culture language, Thomas approaches her writing from the lens of a certified trauma therapist and as a fellow survivor of psychological and financial abuse. Her first book, Healing from Hidden Abuse, an international bestseller, has been published in several languages and serves as a road map for book studies and groups in multiple countries and across the United States. Thomas also developed the "Six Stages of Healing from Hidden Abuse" model, which has been met with favorable reviews and high applause from readers and mental health professionals worldwide.
Thomas is a content expert in media outlets including The Oprah Magazine, Associated Press, Business Insider, Reader's Digest, Yahoo!, Yahoo! Finance, USA Today, and Teen Vogue.
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find this book helpful for survivors of psychological abuse, with one noting how it helps name their experiences. Moreover, the book is well-written, with one customer mentioning they read it in one night, and provides valuable insights, with one review highlighting how it breaks down the abuse cycle. Additionally, customers appreciate its authenticity, with one noting how it creates a personal connection between reader and author, and its accuracy in addressing the subject matter.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Select to learn more
Customers find the book helpful for survivors of psychological abuse, with one customer noting how it provides good insight into the hows and whys of the experience.
"...one of the most interesting, well written, easy to understand, very helpful book I’ve read in years...." Read more
"...She also includes religious abuse which is an important aspect of hidden abuse as well." Read more
"...that Shannon emphasizes throughout the book: you really can heal from psychological abuse. It takes time. Be gentle on yourself...." Read more
"...the reader establish boundaries for personal physical safety and mental sanity...." Read more
Customers find the book highly readable and well-written, with several mentioning they finished it in one night. One customer notes that the author effectively breaks down the cycle of abuse, making it a required read for counselors and pastors.
"...Im in shock completely and outer shock. This has been one of the most interesting, well written, easy to understand, very helpful book I’ve read in..." Read more
"Really excellent book! I’ve read a lot of books on narcissism and covert abusive relationships and this was very insightful...." Read more
"...Shannon Thomas is spot on about all of the stages and writes with such compassion and hope...." Read more
"...Thomas on the other hand takes great care to logically, and by using critical thinking, help the reader establish boundaries for personal physical..." Read more
Customers find the book insightful, providing golden nuggets of wisdom throughout. One customer notes how it guides readers in a personal way, while another mentions how it helps understand people better.
"...on the other hand takes great care to logically, and by using critical thinking, help the reader establish boundaries for personal physical safety..." Read more
"...currently in a relationship, I still believe it’s a pivotal read to learn the first signs and red flags of emotional abuse...." Read more
"...It's helped me see the behaviors and patterns so that I can keep from being abused by others in the future, which is also very important...." Read more
"...I found the book to be lacking in research and diverse scientific studies...." Read more
Customers find the book validating, with one customer noting its research-based approach.
"...and gut-wrenching process, and I cannot tell you how helpful and validating, even now, it is to have the stages of recovery outlined so expertly and..." Read more
"...It helps you trust yourself enough to accept the absolute truth. Abuse is not love...." Read more
"...It provides validation and knowledge, deconstructing and demystifying a type of abuse that is often hidden and dismissed...." Read more
"...Readers will feel validated, less alone, understood, and hopeful in restoring trust in their own intuition." Read more
Customers appreciate the authenticity of the book, finding it honest and relatable, with one customer noting how the author deeply connects with readers.
"...feel and do, Ms. Thomas understands free will and a personal relationship between client and God...." Read more
"...The mind-body connection is also discussed, specifically how continued exposure to toxic borderline personalities can eventually take a physical..." Read more
"...She is realistic, knowing, for example, that a blanket prescription for No Contact does not serve those coming out of a long marriage who must..." Read more
"...Also the author (an LCSW) is refreshingly transparent, open & real. To me Freud did the world great harm in many ways...." Read more
Customers find the book's content accurate.
"...; She brings it to light and she does so beautify, with clarity, and precision all the while offering hope and strategies for recovery for those who..." Read more
"...For me it had the perfect balance of accurate information and sensitivity in tone to get through complicated aftermath feelings and fears...." Read more
"Stunning in its accuracy and detail...." Read more
"Almost 100% accurate in regard to the covert abuse I've had to deal with...." Read more
Reviews with images

Abuse is not love
Top reviews from the United States
There was a problem filtering reviews. Please reload the page.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 14, 2021This book is exactly what I needed at this time of my life. My abuse is within my close circle and within my family. I woke up one morning 4-5 years ago with a completely different perspective on life. Which is great really I’m grateful for that moment. But since I’ve felt all the emotions a person can feel every single day. The amount of hurt, frustration, and confusion I had from the thoughts/reality of my life grow everyday that passed. So the last 5 years have been a emotional roller coaster literally. After years of feeling this way I just wanted it to stop. I’ve seen three therapist over the years and the first two were a joke. The third therapist in my opinion made things worst after almost two years I realized. All this eat I’ve been sitting in of those emotions praying for it to stop. I came across this book on Amazon after reading the title (not thinking I was actually dealing with hidden abuse) then read a lot of reviews. After reading all information 2-3 times I was excited about this book. I received the book a couple days later and read half the book in a day. Then got to a point I had to go back to the beginning and read the studies and research. Im in shock completely and outer shock. This has been one of the most interesting, well written, easy to understand, very helpful book I’ve read in years. While still in shock I start to feel this calming feeling inside over the next week it became stronger and stronger. It turns out my whole life has been surrounded by psychological abusers from all (I mean all) every single family member sadly even myself. I was a abuser myself for the first 28 years of my life. Admitting it and understanding the part I played is just disgusting. It has been in my family I’m assuming for decades. I knew something was different with my family more and more as I got older. But what did the job completely waking me up. Actually had something to do with custody of my children between their father and his family. That parent child relationship and what my children actually mean to me and what I wouldn’t do for them for the rest of my life here. They didn’t ask to be here and it doesn’t matter what type of situation a baby is born in to. Babies are innocent and kids are too. And if kids are not taught about life, the responsibilities it comes with, etc. Those kids almost always have a ruff start and continue to have a ruff ride until they learn the hard way. I’m currently reading over my book for the second or third time and starting to journey in the back. My shock turned in to a calming feeling (deep down I felt I was going to be ok now) which now has turned to feeling at peace with my situation. This book has answered all the questions I’ve ever had that my mom (that choses to not communicated with myself or my child the last 5-7 years , Might texts for birthdays MIGHT) my dad, both grandmothers have sugarcoated, ignored, or gaslighting me. I’m so thankful to the author for writing this book. Thank you Shannon Thomas you did a amazing job on this book. I know it was written years ago exactly when my started to derail. But I personal just finding it and I’m so grateful I did. I’ve been inspired to believe in myself again and never to allow another human being to change that again. Since I started the journeying in the back (which btw is a genius idea that’s going to help me personal and I know it will for others.) I’ve realized this is the way of life for my family. Their choses doesn’t have to effect or include me and in order to communicate with them I’m going to need a plan from a therapist. I’ve also know now that if the plan doesn’t help change things going no contact is the next option and I’m completely ok with that. I unbelievable for the first time in years feel like I have control of my own life and feelings again. I lastly the peace I’ve been looking for all those years I’ve found in this book. Thank you I appreciate you taking your time to help millions of people.
- Reviewed in the United States on February 10, 2025Really excellent book! I’ve read a lot of books on narcissism and covert abusive relationships and this was very insightful. She also includes religious abuse which is an important aspect of hidden abuse as well.
- Reviewed in the United States on September 14, 2019I am several years out of my emotionally abusive marriage and this book has helped me immensely. I’m now at a stage where I am on the other side of this trauma and I am looking back at it all, especially the healing journey, more intellectually, with a lot of curiosity about what specific elements helped me heal. It was a very long and gut-wrenching process, and I cannot tell you how helpful and validating, even now, it is to have the stages of recovery outlined so expertly and compassionately.
Shannon Thomas is spot on about all of the stages and writes with such compassion and hope. There is a ton of specificity to validate your current reality and a gentle, compassionate tone. She even mentions that in Stage 6, Maintenance (where I am now), it is common to look back at the earlier stages to gain a deeper healing. I have friends who keep admonishing me to “Move on. You’re in such a better place now. Let it go!” But I can’t. There’s something pulling me back to look at it, and now I understand why. After reading this book, I do feel I can let it go more. But not totally. And that’s important: to move forward but never forget. Thank you for this, Shannon.
The parts about how family members are won over by the abuser and play into the abuse are particularly helpful too. Mine did and still do, and it’s devastating. What is true about psychological abuse is that it is always with you: I still question myself: did this really happen? (Yes.) Was it as bad as I though it was? (Yes.) Was it ME? (Hell no.) My ex, who, because of our children is a “detached contact” situation, stilll engages in the gaslighting/crazymaking behavior but it is so ridiculously subtle. It is crucial for survivors to read and re-read books like this to maintain their groundedness in the healed space.
The thing I am still stuck on is Shannon’s emphasis on the personality disorder aspect of the psychological abuse behavior. I am sure my ex is not a psychopath or sociopath. But is he a covert narcissist? I don’t know. I can’t wrap my head around that most days. So if he is not, does that mean that this (the abuse, all of the trauma, and my life changing journey because of it...) didn’t happen the way I thought it did? Was it actually something else? That is the part that leaves me stumped and still seeking. That would be my only slight criticism of this book. It feels like a requirement that the abuser have a personality disorder, and that leaves me in a confused state where I circle around and around it in my brain. I imagine that Shannon would argue that he IS a covert narcissist in that case, though, because his tactic is to keep me off-balance and questioning myself.
Other books that helped me validate the abuse without the “requirement” of a personality disorder were Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He DO That?” And Patricia Evans’ “The Verbally Abusive Relationship”.
I want to leave with the message that Shannon emphasizes throughout the book: you really can heal from psychological abuse. It takes time. Be gentle on yourself. I feel I have discovered my Purpose and Power from this devastating experience and even considering that I lost so much, I am really happy with my life and have become the woman I have always wanted to be, not only for myself but also for my kids.
Top reviews from other countries
- Customer0xF5Reviewed in Germany on July 14, 2020
5.0 out of 5 stars Eye-opening and focus on recovery
This book is well written from the perspective of professional expertise as a licensed therapist and personal experience. In the first part Shannon Thomas answers many common but important questions. Some are:
Who is a psychological abuser?
What is the difference between Narcissist, Sociopath, and Psychopath?
Do abusers know what they are doing?
Where, when, how, and why do they harm others?
Why can't they change?
The aha-moments of this part finally lead to a sobering realisation. The relationship was all a lie and the abusive behaviour was intentional.
The description of the six phases of recovery begins on page 65. It is the largest part of the book.
1. Despair: Life of survivors has become unmanageable
2. Education: Terms related to psychological abuse are explained like Gaslighting, Smear Campaign, Flying Monkeys, Narcissistic Offense, Intermittent Reinforcement, Idealize, Devalue, and Discard Phases
3. Awakening: Become aware of the abuse dynamics; you are not crazy; you are not alone; toxic people are everywhere
4. Boundaries: Healing can occur when boundaries are implemented and enforced. No Contact or Detached Contact are key elements
5. Restoration: Regain an enjoyable life, restore financial stability, physical health, emotional well-being, replace material items
6. Maintenance: Guard against future abuse, carefully select people who belong to the inner circle, shift away from old thought patterns and habits
The final part begins on page 187 with the Personal Reflections Journal. Here the reader is encouraged to write down personal episodes, events, insights, and opinions to strengthen their comprehension.
In addition to the profound educational content, this book was particularly helpful to me because it also contains the practical part. Writing things down allowed me to clarify my own experience with toxic people. Journaling is a powerful method of therapy.
- sugarbelleReviewed in the United Kingdom on July 19, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for everyone
I thought this was a great book. We have all encountered emotionally abusive people in our lives and this will give you an insight into what makes them tick. I think we sometimes wrongly think that kindness and understanding will bring round the nastiest of people. But this book enlightened me to the fact that narcissistic/ sociopath type personalities cannot be changed. I initially read the book to help me with trauma in my childhood, but as I read on, the personality traits described made me realise that someone I know in the present also has this personality type, as it described them perfectly. I had cut them out of my life and I now realise I made the right decision as the author explains that they will never change, so I feel justified in that. It also informs you how to be aware of these personality types and how to deal with them if you are not able to avoid them, such as at work. I found it a real eye opener, and it has helped me be so much more aware when dealing with people. There are handy further reading notes at the end of the book too. All in all, very enlightening.
4 people found this helpfulReport - James DReviewed in France on August 4, 2018
5.0 out of 5 stars totally inspiring in your darkest hour
I am just awakening to a 17-year marriage based entirely on emotional abuse. Three children, variously damaged. Impossible to describe the enormity of this realisation, that my previous love for my (soon-to-be-ex) wife was founded on nothing, and that I have been used and manipulated for 20 years without one drop of genuine reciprocity. Suffice to say that Shannon’s assessment and guidance are the best I have found so far. Shannon, deep gratitude directly to you. I have read enormously around the dark triad topic, and Shannon’s book was definitely the one that resonated most closely right from the first page. Of course when she reveals halfway through that she herself is a survivor of psychological abuse, everything became clear. Only someone who has gone through this hell and come out the other side, reborn and stronger, could capture, reflect and address the experience so precisely. A true inspiration in my darkest hour, right now Shannon you are a shining light on the horizon. Thank you, thank you, thank you. James
- CeciliaBloomReviewed in Italy on July 21, 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars So intensely true
I read this book hoping to better understand my suffering and my post-breakup situation with my toxic ex. This book made me feel less alone and made me realize how many things I gave up because of him. He was the one I loved the most and I always tried to justify his actions towards me, without really paying attention to myself. Thank you Shannon for making me feel like I'm not crazy.
- shabeer nahaReviewed in India on June 23, 2021
5.0 out of 5 stars An eye opener for a victim in abusive relationship
This book changed my life..
Post divorce , I happened to read this book by chance. It changed my perspective about an abusive relationship with a BPD-Borderline Personality Disorder
(Diagnosed after divorce)
Even knowing about her BPD condition , I was still under the belief that her love was genuine most times and she had gone astray unintentionally which led to divorce.
The book opened up the exact patterns of abuse my Ex was practising during our relationship and made me realise the depth and the reasons for co-dependency I had with my partner for a shorter period post divorce.
A true guide for a person to come out of any abusive relationship they are undergoing.
An incredible eyeopener .Thanks a million Dr Shannon