This book is exactly what I needed at this time of my life. My abuse is within my close circle and within my family. I woke up one morning 4-5 years ago with a completely different perspective on life. Which is great really I’m grateful for that moment. But since I’ve felt all the emotions a person can feel every single day. The amount of hurt, frustration, and confusion I had from the thoughts/reality of my life grow everyday that passed. So the last 5 years have been a emotional roller coaster literally. After years of feeling this way I just wanted it to stop. I’ve seen three therapist over the years and the first two were a joke. The third therapist in my opinion made things worst after almost two years I realized. All this eat I’ve been sitting in of those emotions praying for it to stop. I came across this book on Amazon after reading the title (not thinking I was actually dealing with hidden abuse) then read a lot of reviews. After reading all information 2-3 times I was excited about this book. I received the book a couple days later and read half the book in a day. Then got to a point I had to go back to the beginning and read the studies and research. Im in shock completely and outer shock. This has been one of the most interesting, well written, easy to understand, very helpful book I’ve read in years. While still in shock I start to feel this calming feeling inside over the next week it became stronger and stronger. It turns out my whole life has been surrounded by psychological abusers from all (I mean all) every single family member sadly even myself. I was a abuser myself for the first 28 years of my life. Admitting it and understanding the part I played is just disgusting. It has been in my family I’m assuming for decades. I knew something was different with my family more and more as I got older. But what did the job completely waking me up. Actually had something to do with custody of my children between their father and his family. That parent child relationship and what my children actually mean to me and what I wouldn’t do for them for the rest of my life here. They didn’t ask to be here and it doesn’t matter what type of situation a baby is born in to. Babies are innocent and kids are too. And if kids are not taught about life, the responsibilities it comes with, etc. Those kids almost always have a ruff start and continue to have a ruff ride until they learn the hard way. I’m currently reading over my book for the second or third time and starting to journey in the back. My shock turned in to a calming feeling (deep down I felt I was going to be ok now) which now has turned to feeling at peace with my situation. This book has answered all the questions I’ve ever had that my mom (that choses to not communicated with myself or my child the last 5-7 years , Might texts for birthdays MIGHT) my dad, both grandmothers have sugarcoated, ignored, or gaslighting me. I’m so thankful to the author for writing this book. Thank you Shannon Thomas you did a amazing job on this book. I know it was written years ago exactly when my started to derail. But I personal just finding it and I’m so grateful I did. I’ve been inspired to believe in myself again and never to allow another human being to change that again. Since I started the journeying in the back (which btw is a genius idea that’s going to help me personal and I know it will for others.) I’ve realized this is the way of life for my family. Their choses doesn’t have to effect or include me and in order to communicate with them I’m going to need a plan from a therapist. I’ve also know now that if the plan doesn’t help change things going no contact is the next option and I’m completely ok with that. I unbelievable for the first time in years feel like I have control of my own life and feelings again. I lastly the peace I’ve been looking for all those years I’ve found in this book. Thank you I appreciate you taking your time to help millions of people.
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Popular Highlights in this book
Psychological abusers do not take responsibility for their actions, so that must be flung onto someone else.Highlighted by 3,374 Kindle readers- The core inherent faulty thinking of abusers is that everything revolves around them.Highlighted by 3,239 Kindle readers
- Abusers like to target people who have something they do not or cannot possess themselves.Highlighted by 3,140 Kindle readers
About the author
Abuse is not love
The debut by Shannon Thompson helped me in ways I will never forget and I can not thank her enough for writing.After talking about an emotionally abusive relationship for years, one I began to believe would never get better, Shannon finally offered me something that no one else ever had.The truth.I should say that I am not a big champion of the idea that all arguments are a two street. I’ve also not reconciled that there are two sides to every story and both parties are either right or wrong.This allows for the truth to become more of an ‘idea’ than tangible fact. That doesn’t mean this isn’t ever the case. Not at all, but it shouldn’t be assumed it’s just the way relationships are.And yes, honesty is hard to come by, andit’s hard to accept that only one person may be to blame. It’s opens a Pandora’s box of scenarios.However, when you are experiencing the impulse to accept the reverse, without any reason to back this up, you’re allowing the concept of honesty to be an allegory.Or a story told merely for personal gain or to manipulate the narrative.The knee jerk reaction to not believe others, especially friends or family members, with no real proof they’re lying, can lead your loved one to not only rationalizing their pain to the point of accepting it, but believing they deserve it.The belief a person going through abuse isn’t being understanding enough, or that what they are telling you is merely an exaggeration, about something they’re struggling with, may lead to truth becoming something symbolic.An allegorical narrative to persuade you to their side, instead of something they need to talk to you about. Something they need help with.And of course some people do this, some people lie. But also, some people are afraid to speak up out of fear. This book isn’t for those who doesn’t believe you, it’s for the survivors. It helps you trust yourself enough to accept the absolute truth.Abuse is not love.While I myself obtained a Graduate Degree in Psychology, I didn’t gain the perspective of being in a powerless situation unless I was in one. I studied and taught enough to know, but not enough to understand.Shannon managed to finally be the only person who seemed to write about how abuse is always wrong. Physical, emotional, financial, and more doesn’t have to be justified because of the abusers past or current life situation. You do not deserve to lose your agency and sense of self because someone else tells you so. You also don’t have to be greatful that the abuse isn’t worse.I have re-read this book since getting out of the relationship years ago and it still holds up every time I read it.I would recommend it to anyone. Whether or not they you are currently in a relationship, I still believe it’s a pivotal read to learn the first signs and red flags of emotional abuse.Healing From Hidden Abuse helps to understand abuse by explaining the stages and signs of love-bombing, the use of triangulation, recognizing a partners sudden dark change in behavior, and generally knowing in your heart that is wrong to be afraid of your partner’s treatment toward you.If you can recognize these behaviors beforehand, you can better protect yourself and get out as sooner!5 Stars!
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on February 10, 2025
- Reviewed in the United States on September 14, 2019
Top reviews from other countries
- Customer0xF5Reviewed in Germany on July 14, 2020
Eye-opening and focus on recovery
- sugarbelleReviewed in the United Kingdom on July 19, 2019
A must read for everyone
- James DReviewed in France on August 4, 2018
totally inspiring in your darkest hour
- shabeer nahaReviewed in India on June 23, 2021
An eye opener for a victim in abusive relationship
