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My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany) Paperback – May 23, 2012

by Kevin Darné (Author)
4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 73 ratings
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My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany) is about seeing things as they are in our relationships. It’s stripping away any illusions we may have conjured up and removing unrealistic expectations. It is a primary and primal message of self-empowerment.

Kevin Darné delivers the all-important message that we tend to forget: Life is a personal journey. Our lives are the result of decisions and choices we have made. Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse. We have the ability to learn from our mistakes and make better choices for ourselves in the future. When we change our circumstances change.

Darné attacks the well-established Changing Water into Wine Myth, Communication Myth, Relationship Work Myth, Unrealistic Romantic Myth, and Monogamy Myth.

My Cat Won’t Bark!: reveals and defines:


* The Three Basic Types of Cheaters

* The Real Meaning of Commitment, The One: Separating Myth from Reality

* The Six Common Mistakes Women Make with Online Dating

* The Recipe for Relationship Happiness

* Finding Your Own Way, and much, much more!


My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany) will forever change the way you view and choose your relationships. 2012 ForeWord Reviews Book of the Year Award Finalist for the "Family & Relationships" category. Award Winning Finalist in the 'Self-Help: Relationships' category of the 2013 International Book Awards.

Kevin Darné has shared his dating insights on WGN-TV Morning News Chicago, The Chicago Tribune, NBCNews.com, Cosmopolitan.com, MensHealth.com, Match.com, Tinder, Zoosk.com, Askmen.com, ReadersDigest.com, Bravotv.com, Bustle.com, PsychologyToday.com, AARP.org, along with several other digital publishers and radio programs.

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  1. Print length
    224 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    May 23, 2012
  4. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.51 x 8.5 inches
  5. ISBN-10
    1468104721
  6. ISBN-13
    978-1468104721
  7. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Darné—a veteran of many long-term relationships and “dating advice examiner” for Examiner.com—distills the wisdom he has gained over the years into this handy and entertaining collection of advice, tips, and maxims. His central thesis is that most relationships break up because people choose the wrong partner.

At the beginning of many relationships, people fail to be deliberate about what they want from a partner, and later find themselves frustrated. Darné reminds readers about the importance of being honest and asserts that communication isn’t a goal if it doesn’t lead to change.

While a great deal of Darné’s advice can be distilled to trite maxims, he raises useful points that challenge conventional self-help texts, particularly in sections addressing when one should consider leaving a partner (as soon as one realizes one’s needs won’t be met) and the importance of ending and beginning relationships well. -- Reviewed on: 12/24/2012

Review

"Life's journey is a complex one, with many questions, and often not many answers to go with them. "My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany)" is a memoir from Kevin Darne as he shares the myths of life and shares what he has brought from them in his pursuits of better life. With a touch of humor and plenty to consider as we try to see through the myths the world has put on us. "My Cat Won't Bark!" is an insightful and much recommended pick, not to be overlooked." -The Midwest Book Review

"My Cat Won’t Bark!" is an interesting book with a charmingly whimsical title. Kevin Darné points out the futility of trying to improve our own lives by ‘improving’ others. His take, well presented, is to spend the effort instead on looking inward and discovering what it is that we really want before we start looking. The book is smoothly written and interesting and while it seems to apply more to people before or between relationships, there are insights that apply to those who are married and have been for years. - Terri Tumlin, Readers Favorite

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (May 23, 2012)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1468104721
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1468104721
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9.5 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.51 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 73 ratings

About the author

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Kevin Darné

Kevin Darné

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About the Author

Kevin Darné is the author of My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany). The book is about learning how to approach relationships with complete awareness, having realistic expectations, and using self-empowerment techniques. My Cat Won't Bark! is laced with several humorous anecdotes and has received some noteworthy positive editorial reviews from the likes of Publishers Weekly, Reader's Favorite, and Midwest Book Review.

His follow up book Online Dating: Avoid the Catfish! (How to Date Online Successfully) was published in August 2019. Darné reveals the six mistakes many people make, how to dodge the friend zone, sidestep the long-distance relationship trap, and avoid the catfish but most of all you’ll learn how to have fun again when dating! Online Dating: Avoid the Catfish! is a must read for anyone considering using an online dating site or app!

Pump Your Brakes! How To Stop Having Bad First Dates was published in March 2020. Pump Your Brakes! How To Stop Having Bad First Dates helps daters keep things in perspective. "Relax, It’s just a date! No one is asking you to decide on whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire. Dating is supposed to be a fun sociable activity!" This is especially true of a first date. Pump Your Brakes! provides advice and tips on: The four steps to finding your ideal mate, How to avoid becoming emotionally invested too quickly, What to do if you're ghosted, How to avoid dating burnout, and How to distinguish a "situationship" from a relationship.

Every Ending Is A New Beginning (The Journey from Breaking Up to Moving On) published in January 2021 is a must read for anyone who is dealing with the pain of a breakup or contemplating ending a relationship. Discover how to cope and move on after breakups by keeping things in perspective. When it comes to love and relationships most of us fail our way to success.

The goal is to have a "soulmate" not a cellmate. No one is "stuck" with anyone. Suffering is optional.

Kevin's dating insight has been featured on WGN-TV Morning News Chicago, The Chicago Tribune, NBCNews.com, Cosmopolitan.com, Askmen.com, ReadersDigest.com, Bravotv.com, Match.com, Zoosk.com, Tinder, PsychologyToday.com, Men'sHealth.com, Bustle.com, Babble.com, Romper.com, AARP.org, Redbookmag.com, along with many other digital publications and radio appearances. For additional information visit www.lovealert911.com

Reviving Hearts with Awareness & Self-Empowerment!

"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary." - Oscar Wilde

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
73 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book insightful and helpful, offering wisdom and practical advice. They describe it as an interesting and enjoyable read with humor and a clear explanation of real-life situations. The writing style is described as clever and simple.

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EnlightenedReadabilityHumorClaritySimplicityWriting style
22 customers mention "Enlightened"22 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful and helpful. It makes them think about past and present relationships, and offers wisdom from others. The book helps them examine their situations in life and consider their motives. They appreciate the author's sense of humor and knowledge of the subject matter. The book focuses on seeing people and relationships as they are, not as we wish.

"...I couldn't put the book down and read it in one day. It takes a more common sense approach in how you see yourself and your current or future..." Read more

"...very important points regarding being HONEST and Truthful in ones relationship/relationships...." Read more

"...This book is about relationships in life, dating, marriage and more. The ones that strike me the most are the dating / engaged, and marriage...." Read more

"...In conclusion, there are some very helpful ideas in the book, particularly about how to select a partner in the first place...." Read more

22 customers mention "Readability"22 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's readability. They find it interesting and fun, with good points. The style is unique and keeps readers interested until the end. Readers say it's a simple, to-the-point read that can be read in one sitting.

"...Kevin's writing style is very unique and will keep your interested to the last page. I couldn't put the book down and read it in one day...." Read more

"I read this book last week on my flight to New York. This was a GREAT read and I truly related to many very important points regarding being HONEST..." Read more

"...I have to say I am a little surprised that he has written such a fantastic book without a psych degree or something...." Read more

"The author makes some very good points in his book. Among those I really liked were:..." Read more

5 customers mention "Humor"5 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the humor in the book. They find the subject knowledge presented with humor and like the author's sense of humor. The book is described as entertaining and engaging.

"I liked the author's sense of humor, and he knows his subject - relationships...." Read more

"...highly recommend this book to others to read because not only is it entertaining, but it doesn't matter if you are going through these issues in..." Read more

"What I enjoy about this book is the bits of humor the author inserts...." Read more

"...It was entertaining as well!" Read more

4 customers mention "Clarity"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's clarity. They find it a valuable self-examination guide with memorable quotes and logical views on life and love. The case studies help clarify concepts even further.

"...He writes in common sense English and even includes case studies to clarify things even more...." Read more

"...to take a look at you and the choices you make, its a real life book of self examination and how you got to where you are...." Read more

"Many memorable quotes, logical viewpoint on life and love worth the read...." Read more

"...Real life explained. Highly recommended." Read more

4 customers mention "Simplicity"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the book simple and engaging, yet deep at the same time.

"...encouraging and told it like it is in a refreshing, straight-forward manner. Highly recommend!" Read more

"...He made it all seem quite simple." Read more

"...Simple and to the point; refreshing!" Read more

"...Simple, and a fun read, but deep at the same time. Loved it !" Read more

4 customers mention "Writing style"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the writing style. They say it's cleverly written.

"...Kevin's writing style is very unique and will keep your interested to the last page. I couldn't put the book down and read it in one day...." Read more

"...He writes in common sense English and even includes case studies to clarify things even more...." Read more

"This book is cleverly written and, while there are few new insights, being reminded of the basics in an enjoyable read is always best...." Read more

"cleverly written. opened my eyes to some things that were wrong in my own relationships both past and present...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Joy
    5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic book! A must have!
    Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2012
    Verified Purchase
    This is a great book that women or men can relate to. It is not your typical relationship book that you want to put down after the first chapter. Kevin's writing style is very unique and will keep your interested to the last page. I couldn't put the book down and read it in one day. It takes a more common sense approach in how you see yourself and your current or future relationships. Instead of giving you a bunch of rules to follow, Kevin wants you to know yourself and your needs before you look for a relationship. Even if you are not interested in having a relationship with someone, this book will have you asking yourself many questions about you and what you want. It is really all about you and making positive changes. As kevin says "the only person you can change is yourself".
    I totally agree with the other reviews and it would be hard to expand on the review by Denise. This book is a must read. I do a lot of reading and prefer the print version, however I enjoyed this book so much that I had to have an electronic version also. So now I can read back over the book on my ipad with the kindle app.
    Thanks Kevin for such and enlightening and encouraging book.
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Donna & Jewell
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read
    Reviewed in the United States on October 1, 2012
    Verified Purchase
    I read this book last week on my flight to New York. This was a GREAT read and I truly related to many very important points regarding being HONEST and Truthful in ones relationship/relationships. I shared what I read with my one son who is 26 to gather feedback from him regarding the comments I made to him about this book. He now wants to read Kevin's book and then we will sit down and I will listen to his point of view as well as his take on having a truly fulfilling relationship with ones partner.

    I love the title of this book. Also I took aware how important it is to now oneself and no matter what you do or do not do, you can't change anyone but yourself. Why make life so hard! Life really can be your BEST LIFE EVER!

    Thanks for the easy read Kevin!

    Tiny
    One person found this helpful
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  • Dorothy
    4.0 out of 5 stars So this book is not really about cats?
    Reviewed in the United States on March 27, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    I did, in truth, get this book because I thought it would be about cats. My bad. In reading the author's bio, I have to say I am a little surprised that he has written such a fantastic book without a psych degree or something. Kudos to the author for doing even better than the degree people. He writes in common sense English and even includes case studies to clarify things even more.

    This book is about relationships in life, dating, marriage and more. The ones that strike me the most are the dating / engaged, and marriage. With the divorce rate what it is today, people need all the help they can get BEFORE they commit their lives to the one person. They also need enlightenment into what to expect, and how to keep the romance and love going for years and years. I think this book does all this.

    I do recommend this book to all, teens, engaged couples, and married couples, be they newly married or married for awhile.

    What I ESPECIALLY recommend this book for is the 'just got engaged' person, or the just got married person if you were not so lucky to gift it to them before they tied the knot. We are not taught how to work to keep and / or improve our relationships anymore. It is more of a 'if I don't like it we can break up' kind of world. With this book as a gift, maybe we can stop that.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Tim 2:24
    3.0 out of 5 stars Many good points, but missing something
    Reviewed in the United States on November 20, 2012
    Verified Purchase
    The author makes some very good points in his book. Among those I really liked were:

    We can't change our partner, and the best way to get the partner we want is to make a careful selection in the first place.

    In the process of dating someone - discovering who they are - we will come across certain areas where they are not the way we would like them to be. At that point, we have an important question to ask: is this a "deal breaker"? If so, it is time to get out of the relationship. If not, we must learn to live without. We should not plan on changing our partner to match our desires - it will generally lead to frustration and resentment.

    Many people enter relationships on impulse, and that is a poor way to get what we really want in a relationship.

    Mere communication doesn't necessarily fix things, and therapy doesn't guarantee results.

    The "work" required to keep relationships fresh ought to be enjoyable - a labor of love.

    It is wrong to cheat on our partner, whether we are dating exclusively or married. The responsibility advocated in this subject is very welcome. Honesty, trust, loyalty, love, devotion, and intimacy are essential to a healthy relationship.

    There is also a wide variety of good practical advice - the common sense which is perhaps not as common as it ought to be.

    Things I disagree with:

    First, the author seems to think it is never too late to get out of a relationship which doesn't live up to our desires. No matter how long one is married, or whether one has kids, any time or situation is a valid one to apply the "deal breaker" test to the relationship. He claims not having deal breakers is most likely a sign you don't love yourself or have low self-esteem.

    In other words, commitments made in the past cannot tie us down. He takes responsibility too lightly in this case. He thinks cheating is unacceptable, but leaving a marriage is not a problem. I would agree that there may be times (particularly in situations of abuse or unfaithfulness) when dissolving a marriage is the best thing, but it is always a tragedy. Yet the author always wants to leave the door open. This seems to contradict the loyalty and devotion he advocates elsewhere.

    Second, the author confuses moral issues and legal ones, and advocates only selective responsibility for our actions. The author emphasizes at one point that abortion is legal. It certainly is. But that does not mean that it is a moral solution to an accidental pregnancy. In fact, other than being opposed to dishonesty and cheating, there are few strong moral stands taken in the book. Without a moral base, we are left to our own devices, and end up centered on ourselves. The last sentence in the book is "The world may not owe you anything, but you owe yourself the world!"

    Third, there seem to be no limits on physical intimacy outside of marriage. I think sex was intended for marriage, and leads to difficulties (sometimes very serious ones) outside of marriage. The author states that starting with intimacy and trying to work backwards to honesty, trust, loyalty, love and devotion doesn't work. He notes at one point that those who have not have many sexual partners generally find monogamy less of a challenge. And he seems to favor monogamy. So I would have hoped these views would combine to encourage waiting until marriage, leaving us with clearer heads in order to evaluate whether we had found the best partner. But he does not draw that conclusion, and writes as if early intimacy is normal and expected.

    I believe that God created marriage, and has given us instructions about how it works best. That doesn't mean that one must be a Christian to have a good marriage, or that if you are a Christian, you will necessarily have a good one. But the closer we follow God's instructions and the example that Jesus gives us of how to relate to each other, the better it will be.

    For example, we are to consider other people to be better than ourselves, looking out for their interests. We should seek to serve rather than be served. We should be willing to forgive. This applies to relationships in general, but is particularly necessary in marriage. We cannot change either ourselves or our partner by ourselves, but we can ask God to change us both. Generally He starts with us, but will often afterwards do miracles in our partner as well. All of this works much better if you married the right person in the first place, and both of you are trying to do these things. But it can also work when you aren't getting all you want, and are tempted to break your marriage vows and enter into the serial monogamy described in this book.

    Except in extreme situations, it is better to keep our marriage commitment and ask God to give us strength where we are, rather than to get a divorce so that we can look for someone who is a better match. Loyalty and devotion are not intended to be just until we want a new partner, but for life. Betrayal applies not only to cheating, but also to leaving a marriage. I understand that these ideas are very difficult for someone who doesn't know God to swallow, but that doesn't mean they aren't true.

    In conclusion, there are some very helpful ideas in the book, particularly about how to select a partner in the first place. But without a real lifelong commitment, as evidenced by the willingness to let go of the deal breaker list and seek the best for our partner, a relationship based on the ideas in this book will be too weak.
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Lady
    5.0 out of 5 stars wow- Good read
    Reviewed in the United States on September 19, 2012
    Verified Purchase
    This is an excellent book, it helps you to take a look at you and the choices you make, its a real life book of self examination and how you got to where you are. Its a book that makes you think about pass and present relationships, its a must have in any book collection, once you start reading it you can hardly put it down, as the writer goes thru each scenerio, you can see how some people got in certain types of relationships. Ladies as Mr. Darne' explaine in the book, we have got to truly learn how to love ourselves before can we choose the right mate.
    5 people found this helpful
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