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Review- Gaslighting BookMaKayla Evans

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Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People -- and Break Free Paperback – October 2, 2018

by Stephanie Moulton Sarkis PhD (Author)

4.6 1,146 ratings

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A mental health expert sheds light on "gaslighting"--the manipulative technique used by sociopaths, narcissists, and others--offering practical strategies to cope and break free.

He's the charmer -- the witty, confident, but overly controlling date. She's the woman on your team who always manages to take credit for your good work. He's the neighbor who swears you've been putting your garbage into his trash cans, the politician who can never admit to a mistake. Gaslighters are master controllers and manipulators, often challenging your very sense of reality. Whether it's a spouse, parent, coworker, or friend, gaslighters distort the truth -- by lying, withholding, triangulation, and more -- making their victims question their own reality and sanity. Dr. Stephanie Sarkis delves into this hidden manipulation technique, covering gaslighting in every life scenario, sharing:

Why gaslighters seem so "normal" at first
Warning signs and examples
Gaslighter "red flags" on a first date
Practical strategies for coping
How to coparent with a gaslighter
How to protect yourself from a gaslighter at work
How to walk away and rebuild your life

With clear-eyed wisdom and empathy, Dr. Sarkis not only helps you determine if you are being victimized by a gaslighter -- she gives you the tools to break free and heal.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A succinct, useful self-help guide to responding to an all-too-common but under-discussed personality type."―Publishers Weekly

"Sarkis clearly knows her material inside and out... this book will bring gaslighting victims and survivors out of the darkness and into the light, helping them heal"―New York Journal of Books

"A fascinating and necessary study of rampant gaslighting and how to steer clear of being a victim."―Library Journal (starred review)

About the Author

Dr. Stephanie Moulton Sarkis is the author of five self-help books on the subject of ADHD in adults. Dr. Sarkis is an American Mental Counseling Association Diplomate and Clinical Specialist in Child and Adolescent Counseling (one of twenty in the US), National Certified Counselor, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Qualified LMHC Supervisor, and Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator and Circuit Civil Court Mediator. She is also a blogger for the Huffington Post and Psychology Today. She has a private practice in Tampa, Florida.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0738284661
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Balance (October 2, 2018)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780738284668
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0738284668
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.9 x 1.05 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #91,050 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #88 in Mood Disorders (Books)
- #123 in Personality Disorders (Books)
- #555 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.6 1,146 ratings

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Stephanie Sarkis

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Stephanie Moulton Sarkis PhD NCC DCMHS LMHC is a psychotherapist specializing in anxiety, gaslighting, narcissistic abuse, and ADHD. She is the author of eight books and one workbook, including Healing From Toxic Relationships: 10 Essential Steps to Recover from Gaslighting, Narcissism, and Emotional Abuse and Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People - and Break Free and Healing From Toxic Relationships: 10 Essential Steps to Recover from Gaslighting, Narcissism, and Emotional Abuse, Dr. Sarkis is a National Certified Counselor, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, American Mental Health Counselors Association Diplomate (Clinical Mental Health Specialist in Child and Adolescent Counseling), and a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family and Circuit Mediator. She has been in private practice for 20 years. She is a senior contributor for Forbes online, and is also a contributor to Psychology Today. She is the host of the Talking Brains podcast. She is based in Tampa, Florida. You can visit her website at www.stephaniesarkis.com.

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Customers say

Customers find the book informative and helpful for understanding gaslighting. They describe it as an easy read that helps them live a less stressful life. The author provides thorough explanations and is thorough. Readers appreciate that the book validates their feelings and helps them reconcile their minds and hearts. Overall, customers find the book accurate and helpful in understanding the topic.

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46 customers mention "Information quality"44 positive2 negative

Customers find the book informative and easy to read. It helps them understand toxic behaviors and patterns. They say it's a good guide to bring to therapy and help open up discussions. The book provides good perspectives and practical advice, opening their eyes to things they were unaware of. It tackles important behavioral patterns with excellent examples from family relationships. Overall, customers find the book practical and useful.

"...recommended to me after a bad breakup and boy did this book open my eyes to stuff I was so oblivious and unaware of...." Read more

"...The author is very thorough and also gives insight into the causes as well as therapies/strategies that can be helpful, for the victims and for the..." Read more

"...The therapist listened to the situation and recommended this book. Eye opening...." Read more

"A great catalogue for people to draw from and for society to start dealing with this ogre that, only a few short years ago, had no name...." Read more

40 customers mention "Readability"40 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and informative. They appreciate the author's thorough explanations and clear descriptions. The book is concise and descriptive, making it a good choice for readers.

"...that can gaslight you, family, friends, coworkers, etc... such a good read!" Read more

"...The author is very thorough and also gives insight into the causes as well as therapies/strategies that can be helpful, for the victims and for the..." Read more

"...The advice for me is simple and I accept it. Get away from a gaslighter. It’s that simple. The other 200+ pages go into more detail, which was great...." Read more

"...The DSM is great for diagnosing but this book spells it out clearly...." Read more

5 customers mention "Stress level"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful for reducing stress. It validates their feelings and helps them understand them. They say it helps them open up and discuss their feelings, helping them reconcile their minds with reality. The book provides great techniques to make life smoother when dealing with gaslighting.

"...Arm yourself with this information and save yourself worlds of heartache pain and suffering in unfavorable relationships...." Read more

"...guide to bring with me to therapy and to help me open up and discuss my feelings and help reconcile my mind and heart with my new reality." Read more

"...After reading this book, it validated my feelings and helped me to understand that it wasn’t me “over reacting “ their behavior is unhealthy." Read more

"...it is full of great techniques to make life smoother when dealong with gaslighting" Read more

3 customers mention "Accuracy"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful and accurate. They say it's informative and easy to read, exactly as described.

"Excellent book! Exactly as described! Helpful!" Read more

"It is accurate and very valuable information..." Read more

"Helpful, Accurate, Informative, Easy Read..." Read more

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Desiree white
Highly recommend
Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2024
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I got this book because it was recommended to me after a bad breakup and boy did this book open my eyes to stuff I was so oblivious and unaware of. Def would recommend this not just for the narcissist partner but anybody that can gaslight you, family, friends, coworkers, etc... such a good read!

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Sonoran Woman
Good info and ammunition against gaslighters.
Reviewed in the United States on June 9, 2024
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Once you read this book, you will realize that Gaslighters are pretty much everywhere. They seem to share qualities with narcissists and possibly sociopaths. The author is very thorough and also gives insight into the causes as well as therapies/strategies that can be helpful, for the victims and for the Gaslighters themselves( provided they have the capacity to look at themselves). For me, the takeaway is “get the hell away as fast as possible. “ But if you can’t, this book will give you some helpful tips

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4 people found this helpful

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Joseph
Therapist recommended reader approved
Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2021
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My therapist recommended this book. I never thought I would want nor need it. I stumbled upon the topic of gaslighting. I’m obviously going through a separation. My employer has fantastic counseling benefits. I told my boss who immediately connected me with a therapy provider. From there, I met with a coach and a therapist. Twice with the therapist. The therapist listened to the situation and recommended this book. Eye opening. If you are in this situation and don’t want to read the book, I understand. The advice for me is simple and I accept it. Get away from a gaslighter. It’s that simple. The other 200+ pages go into more detail, which was great. I read a chapter and reflected. It took me a while to read the book. I’m real glad I did. Now that I recognize what was happening, I see the person for who the person was. I’m obviously not going to bash the person. I’m going to thank the coach, therapist, and author. Thank you!

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13 people found this helpful

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Brahma
Good start to addressing powerful manipulators.
Reviewed in the United States on December 21, 2024
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A great catalogue for people to draw from and for society to start dealing with this ogre that, only a few short years ago, had no name. However, some of the advice was too prescriptive or lack necessary expansion and leaned toward giving readers the justifications for discrimination against people who are not gaslighters. In one case, the author’s advice promotes a certain ubiquitous form of gaslighting, the very thing the book intends to prevent.

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Zeushi
It is accurate and very valuable information
Reviewed in the United States on May 29, 2023
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Save yourself a lot of heartache and read this book. I am a licensed professional counselor of 25 years. The DSM is great for diagnosing but this book spells it out clearly. Arm yourself with this information and save yourself worlds of heartache pain and suffering in unfavorable relationships. I highly recommend this book.

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7 people found this helpful

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Nativebees
Very helpful and informative
Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2024
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This book, for me, is a spotlight in the dark. Helped me with another layer of recovery. Seeing the 'technique' helps to identify it for what it is.

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One person found this helpful

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C. Smith
Family full of them!
Reviewed in the United States on July 20, 2021
Verified Purchase
For many years I thought something was wrong with me but somehow I just knew I wasn't crazy. But the gas lighter in my family had me believing it for many years. Until one day as I was working on progress with my therapist, and she said to me that she had been receiving letters on behalf of me by intercepting them. They were letters from my "gaslighter" who tried extensively to convince my therapist of all the things that were wrong and so on. Now at this time there was no name for these types of people, however she knew something was not right. She said that there is no need to read them as they are mute anyway. By the sessions I have been having with her she said I should not only NOT be here and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me but I will give you the tools to deal with these people and how to carry on in life. Best advise I ever got. Then many years later the name Gas Lighter came up and I saw the book. This book gave me many more tools and so much more to continue down the road to sanity. Thank you. I have bought many copies and given them to many friends in the same situation. So glad there is name for them and a way to breath again knowing that I am free.

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21 people found this helpful

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Nopohboy
Great Read
Reviewed in the United States on September 30, 2022
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This book should be required reading for new therapist & managers... It really straight forward and gives great examples...I did not know much about gaslight but this book provides clear and concise info of what to look for in various parts of our lives..The recommendation for healing and therapy is important for anyone transitioning out this toxic relationship.

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Faye
Very informative
Reviewed in Canada on January 24, 2024
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This book is very well written and is easy to read. I highly recommend this book. It has helped me to understand this subject. Thank you.

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Amazon Customer
Life changing
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 22, 2023
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I heard about this book on the Something was Wrong podcast & could not recommend both enough.

This book was an incredible tool in helping me manage a very toxic situation & gave me some real life, practical ways to deal with a serial gas lighter in my life, when I didn't understand what gas lighting really was or the effects it was having on me.

She is clear in saying that the behaviours described aren't in & of themselves things in which to label someone as a gas lighter - sometimes people lie or 'gaslight' for trivial reasons & without malicious intention behind their actions but that together, along with many components described, over a period of time - this is what abusive 'gaslighting' is.

There is so much in here that is informative & enlightening. Highly recommend.

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Mohd ayub
Good book
Reviewed in India on July 21, 2019
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Very helpful

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U. Gietzen-Wieland
Ein hilfreicher Guide um Gaslighting zu verstehen, zu erkennen und sich davor zu schützen!
Reviewed in Germany on March 29, 2019
Verified Purchase

The media could not be loaded.

Als Business-, Karriere- und Life-Coach erlebe ich bei vielen meiner Klienten im Berufsleben (Führungskräfte im oberen Management, High-Potentials, hochspezialisierte Experten) starke Verwirrung und Verunsicherung, wenn sie das erste Mal auf einen Menschen treffen, der Gaslighting benutzt.

Der Klassiker: meist ist es ein neuer Vorgesetzter, der stark narzisstische Verhaltensweisen zeigt. Irgendwann kommt es zu einem Konflikt und ab da beginn die Sache, den Bach hinunter zu gehen. Der Andere greift in die volle Palette psychotoxischer Spielchen, unter anderem zu Gaslighting.

Die Folge: Konfliktverschärfung, Zerwürfnisse, meist endet es im Aufhebungsvertrag. Viele meiner Klienten (durchweg hochqualifizierte, sehr erfahrene Menschen) sitzen dann vor mir, trauten ihrer eigenen Wahrnehmung und ihren Emotionen nicht mehr, zeigen fallweise Anzeichen von posttraumatischem Belastungsstress, sind verwirrt und verunsichert, was ihnen da widerfahren ist.

Die meisten von ihnen haben in ihrer Biographie bis dato noch nie von malignem Narzissmus und Gaslighting gehört und verstanden daher nicht, in welches Szenario sie hineingeraten waren.

Nur wenn man weiß da, dass es so etwas gibt, wenn man die ersten Anzeichen erkennt und der eigenen Wahrnehmung traut, kann man eine Strategie entwickeln: zum Umgang mit der Situation und zum Selbstschutz.

Das Werk von Stephanie Sarkis ist ein guter und hilfreicher Guide durch das Phänomen Gaslighting in verschiedenen Lebensbereichen. Es beschreibt die Anzeichen, gibt Einblick in mögliche Ursachen und vermittelt Lösungsmöglichkeiten.

Daher habe ich es in meine Bestandsbibliothek zum Thema "Fachliteratur zu malignem Narzissmus" aufgenommen und empfehle es gern weiter!

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Susan Jacups
everyone needs to read this
Reviewed in Australia on January 21, 2021
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this book is about a topic of psychological control that some partners have over their spouses / partners

courts are now starting to respond to this as psychological trauma when they once only responded to physical trauma.

everyone needs to read this book

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5.0 out of 5 stars Very informative

5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing

5.0 out of 5 stars Good book

5.0 out of 5 stars Ein hilfreicher Guide um Gaslighting zu verstehen, zu erkennen und sich davor zu schützen!

5.0 out of 5 stars everyone needs to read this

Very informative

Life changing

Good book

Ein hilfreicher Guide um Gaslighting zu verstehen, zu erkennen und sich davor zu schützen!

everyone needs to read this