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Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 3,863 ratings

#1 Wall Street Journal Best Seller

Winner of the Thinkers50 Breakthrough Idea Award

Amazon Best Book of the Year

Forbes Recommended Books for Leaders

TED Talk sensation—over 12 million views!

The counterintuitive approach to achieving your true potential, heralded by the Harvard Business Review as a groundbreaking idea of the year.

The path to personal and professional fulfillment is rarely straight. Ask anyone who has achieved his or her biggest goals or whose relationships thrive and you’ll hear stories of many unexpected detours along the way. What separates those who master these challenges and those who get derailed? The answer is agility—emotional agility.

Emotional agility is a revolutionary, science-based approach that allows us to navigate life’s twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. Renowned psychologist Susan David developed this concept after studying emotions, happiness, and achievement for more than twenty years. She found that no matter how intelligent or creative people are, or what type of personality they have, it is how they navigate their inner world—their thoughts, feelings, and self-talk—that ultimately determines how successful they will become.

The way we respond to these internal experiences drives our actions, careers, relationships, happiness, health—everything that matters in our lives. As humans, we are all prone to common hooks—things like self-doubt, shame, sadness, fear, or anger—that can too easily steer us in the wrong direction. Emotionally agile people are not immune to stresses and setbacks. The key difference is that they know how to adapt, aligning their actions with their values and making small but powerful changes that lead to a lifetime of growth. Emotional agility is not about ignoring difficult emotions and thoughts; it’s about holding them loosely, facing them courageously and compassionately, and then moving past them to bring the best of yourself forward.

Drawing on her deep research, decades of international consulting, and her own experience overcoming adversity after losing her father at a young age, David shows how anyone can thrive in an uncertain world by becoming more emotionally agile. To guide us, she shares four key concepts that allow us to acknowledge uncomfortable experiences while simultaneously detaching from them, thereby allowing us to embrace our core values and adjust our actions so they can move us where we truly want to go.

Written with authority, wit, and empathy, Emotional Agility serves as a road map for real behavioral change—a new way of acting that will help you reach your full potential, whoever you are and whatever you face.

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Product details

Listening Length 9 hours and 21 minutes
Author Susan David
Narrator Susan David
Whispersync for Voice Ready
Audible.com Release Date September 06, 2016
Publisher Penguin Audio
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B01JGRMM4E
Best Sellers Rank #11,621 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#39 in Medical Applied Psychology
#40 in Emotions
#101 in Popular Psychology Personality Study

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
3,863 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides insightful and practical strategies to manage complex emotions. They describe it as a wonderful, enjoyable read that synthesizes important concepts in psychology, practical life advice, and personal experience. Readers praise the writing quality as easy to understand and flowing. The storytelling is engaging and relatable, providing valuable content. Many customers find the book transformative and empowers them to embrace change.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

113 customers mention "Insight"107 positive6 negative

Customers find the book provides insightful and practical strategies for managing complex emotions. It offers theory backed by summarized research and stories that help demonstrate. The book is considered an indispensable guide that brings concepts to life using real-life examples. Readers appreciate the great ideas and transformative strategies for navigating life's challenges.

"...The book was such a breathe of fresh air, heavily supported with research and thankfully, void of lengthy stories of how "John Doe came into my..." Read more

"...This book has so much information that can help you unhook, and see your thoughts for what they are - just thoughts...." Read more

"...This book has great ideas in it, it makes sense, it just didn't get me in a position where I could do something with that information...." Read more

"...Dr. David's message has just right amount of theory backed by summarized research, stories that help demonstrate the theoretical application, and..." Read more

113 customers mention "Readability"107 positive6 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and engaging. They appreciate the excellent points and observations made by the author. The takeaways are valuable and the book is praised for effectively incorporating relevant literature. Readers describe it as a wonderful, enjoyable read that deserves to be a classic.

"...Her approach cuts to the heart of the matter in the most kind and encouraging way...." Read more

"...Still a good read, and I recommend it for anywhere looking for a place to start if they're feeling like the world is against them and they can't..." Read more

"Emotional Agility by Susan David I really enjoyed reading this book...." Read more

"...I thoroughly enjoyed reading the book. I have ordered more copies as it will make a great gift." Read more

100 customers mention "Emotional intelligence"95 positive5 negative

Customers find the book helpful for understanding emotional agility. They appreciate the author's synthesis of psychology, practical life advice, and personal experiences. The book provides inspirational messages about compassion for oneself. It offers practical strategies and exercises for learning to think differently that don't feel like work. Readers mention it helps navigate life's ups and downs, providing the path for genuine healing. Overall, customers say the book makes them want to improve all areas of their lives.

"...Allowing the reader to be human, acknowledging that life is challenging and that the more that we accept ourselves entirely and with compassion, the..." Read more

"...Susan David is an amazing soul that is a perfect example of emotional agility. This book - her work - will save lives...." Read more

"...Labeling emotions was a helpful exercise that I took away from this book; it's good to not place blame or judgment with how you feel and let things..." Read more

"...the theoretical application, and practical guidelines to follow to improve emotional functioning...." Read more

62 customers mention "Writing quality"59 positive3 negative

Customers find the writing easy to read and understand. They appreciate the flowing language throughout the book. The writing is personal and gives them new direction in their writing. Readers mention that the book provides clear tools to help become aware of emotions, and a straightforward road map they can follow.

"...She gives clear tools to help becomes aware of what our emotions are and how to not let them have control over our lives...." Read more

"...biggest takeaway is something I knew already but something that was good to read in the way the author presented it, and that's the fact that..." Read more

"...The beauty of the book lies in the simplicity of its language, making it a fantastic read...." Read more

"...is no value in this book - the anecdotes are generous and her writing is personal...." Read more

29 customers mention "Storytelling"29 positive0 negative

Customers find the storytelling engaging and relatable. They appreciate the anecdotes gleaned from David's corporate practice and the author's own experiences. The book provides valuable content that is thought-provoking and useful. Readers describe it as an inspiring self-discovery adventure with stories that help demonstrate the theoretical application and practical guidelines.

"...of fresh air, heavily supported with research and thankfully, void of lengthy stories of how "John Doe came into my office and was feeling... "..." Read more

"...of theory backed by summarized research, stories that help demonstrate the theoretical application, and practical guidelines to follow to improve..." Read more

"...This isn't to say that there is no value in this book - the anecdotes are generous and her writing is personal...." Read more

"...how to live--not necessarily control--our emotions is succinct, interesting and most of all, realistic...." Read more

19 customers mention "Change-oriented"16 positive3 negative

Customers find the book helpful for embracing change and cultivating resilience. They say it helps them gain perspective on their mental processes and redefine what it means to be human. The insights empower readers to embrace change and thrive in work and life. Readers mention they had many breakthroughs and nuggets throughout the book.

"...Susan's insights empower readers to embrace change and cultivate resilience in both work and personal life...." Read more

"...my mind more often than ever, which has allowed me to make better decisions in relationships, both personal and professional...." Read more

"...She discusses the idea of being seen. That was the key to figuring out what happened to me as a child- I was not seen...." Read more

"...allows us to step out to create distance from and gain perspective on our mental processes, which then defangs their power over us."...." Read more

8 customers mention "Read pace"8 positive0 negative

Customers find the book a quick and engaging read. It gets to the point quickly and makes them want to improve.

"...This read was extremely timely for me, and I found myself jotting down notes and reactions in the margins (I am an English teacher, after all!),..." Read more

"...She gets to the point quickly (actually many points) and makes you want to improve all areas of your life. Completely non-judgmental...." Read more

"...While the book keeps a good pace, there came a point when I was about to quit because the woman didn't seem to be getting to the point...." Read more

"This book really opened up my eyes. It was a very timely read in that I was already on a path to change and making radical decisions, some self-..." Read more

Good information, useful techniques
4 out of 5 stars
Good information, useful techniques
I picked up a copy of this book because a Meet-Up group I was part of was going through the book chapter by chapter.The book covers a lot of ground.The basic premise is that much advice about how to improve yourself is actually dead wrong because it tries to have you move past things while you are still dealing with them.The first step according to this book is to accept that we are all flawed and have "stuff." Thinking happy thoughts and trying to make major changes while you are processing bad things will not work.Instead, the book proposes two major approaches and one attitudinal adjustment. The adjustment is to accept your negative feelings as being legitimate and part of a healing process.The two major approaches are tiny tweaks and the see-saw.The tiny tweaks was made famous in the book "Atomic Habits." The idea is that it is easier and longer lasting to make a series of small adjustments to your life rather than try to make big, unstainable changes.The see-saw approach acknowledges that progress is not consistent. Sometimes you move forward, sometimes backward, but if you try to swing further in a positive direction with each swing then eventually you will reach your goal.The best thing about the book is that it acknowledges, no it embraces our imperfections.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on December 11, 2016
    I was first introduced to Susan David when I came across an article she wrote entitled " 'Choosing' to be happy doesn't work: Here's what to do instead" [...] Immediately, I was a fan! Here was someone speaking about the value of challenging emotions and the limit of imposed happiness. From there, I took her on-line quiz to assess my Emotional Agility and promptly received an email with my personal results (from her personal email address). I ordered the book right away and devoured it.

    David writes with this straight forward acceptance of human nature. We are human and that emotions are part of that experience, joy being just one of those emotions. It is a welcome relief from the books that ask you to just not argue with reality, that it is just you hurting you or that you just need to manifest good. While those books can have helpful tools. Those tools have limits. In contrast, David uses research to show the reason why positivity is difficult and how sometimes it can be a disservice to us. She also goes into depth about the importance of emotions that we tend to classify as negative such as grief, anger or sorrow -the lessons that they hold for us when we can examine them. She gives clear tools to help becomes aware of what our emotions are and how to not let them have control over our lives. While many of these tips may not seem groundbreaking, David takes it step further and ties this emotional awareness into the values that are important to us and how we can live a more value driven life.
    Her approach cuts to the heart of the matter in the most kind and encouraging way. Allowing the reader to be human, acknowledging that life is challenging and that the more that we accept ourselves entirely and with compassion, the more that we can engage in a meaningful life. The book was such a breathe of fresh air, heavily supported with research and thankfully, void of lengthy stories of how "John Doe came into my office and was feeling... "(those type of anecdotes are such irritating filler). I can't stop talking about it and recommending it to friends and strangers.
    46 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 30, 2024
    My reviews are given on Goodreads (tialinc). I finished this book in 2023, and it was the best decision I’ve made. Susan David is an amazing soul that is a perfect example of emotional agility. This book - her work - will save lives.

    My review from 2023:
    One of those books you can read over and over again!

    And believe me I will. Already have turned this book into curriculum so I can teach my clients.
    This book has so much information that can help you unhook, and see your thoughts for what they are - just thoughts. This book truly helped me to become stronger in my self-awareness. Highly recommend this book and author!
    7 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on October 30, 2016
    I wanted to love this book, but I only just liked it. I got some good pieces of information out of it, but nothing too revolutionary. The biggest takeaway is something I knew already but something that was good to read in the way the author presented it, and that's the fact that negative emotions aren't bad to have. You can learn from them and use them to guide you to living a life that's more in tune with your values and soon you'll feel less negative emotions once you're operating all on the same frequency with yourself. I wanted this book to go deeper, though. I felt the explanations of how to do something, how to help yourself really get unstuck, stopped short.

    An issue I personally have is knowing what my values are...I just simply don't know them. It would have been nice if this book gave a bit more detail as to how one might be able to figure out their values, besides trial and error and listening to their emotional feedback. I value things but don't act on them, and I'm not sure if those are still things I actually value. Maybe they're just things I'd like to value, but it'd take a super big change in character for me to act on those values and I'm not sure how to do that (this book didn't help with that). Since I'm focused on those as my values, I'm ignoring whatever the hell my real values are. But without those values in place, I don't know what I'm left with. Maybe I'm a terrible person who doesn't value much? Who knows, I don't.

    Labeling emotions was a helpful exercise that I took away from this book; it's good to not place blame or judgment with how you feel and let things just *be* what they are without trying to force them into something else. That said, I read this book because I know changes need to happen in my life and while I'm not going to try to force those changes, I'm still not 100% sure how to solidly guide myself into those changes. I'm well-versed with mindfulness and I know that a big element of suffering is our human tendency to attach expectations to things, and letting go of those expectations is important. Emotional Agility touches upon this, but I felt the author could again go further in explaining how one can let go. There can be a lot of emotional trauma and history that leads one to hold onto something for dear life, even if it's hurting them to do so and they're aware of that (such as a past love that has no chance of being mended back into a relationship). But just being able to let go doesn't magically happen when you know that you should do it and why you should it (but oh, how I wish that were all it took).

    If a workbook based on this book was released, that would probably be extremely helpful for people, such as myself, who are still feeling stuck. I know the actions to take but I'm still weary on how to take those actions. Even if I know what step one is, I might not know how to get to step one or act upon my motivation to get myself there. There's a missing link, a disconnect, between where I'm currently at and how to start with what I want to change and embrace to ease my daily suffering with things. This is most likely my fault, not the author's fault, but if the author was willing to put together a workbook to expand on this book, I would surely purchase it. Something to get the ball rolling and help me build up the momentum of being able to get unstuck.

    This book has great ideas in it, it makes sense, it just didn't get me in a position where I could do something with that information. Still a good read, and I recommend it for anywhere looking for a place to start if they're feeling like the world is against them and they can't keep their head above water.
    485 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Emma De Saint Martin
    5.0 out of 5 stars Un bon livre
    Reviewed in France on February 18, 2022
    Pour développer son intelligence émotionnelle, c'est un livre à lire. Clair et concis. Dès fois, j'aimerais plus de détails ou de méthodologie pour présenter des solutions, mais la narration est ordonnée et c'est bien argumenté.
  • tarun
    5.0 out of 5 stars Nice book with very practical points
    Reviewed in India on July 9, 2021
    I have read so many other books that teaches you how to deal with life. Most of those are around the idea of 'think positive, & the positive will happen'. They suggest you so many steps to follow around similar principles. None of those steps are practical in this harsh world. Neither any of those give any science based proof, citation to any experiment or study, that actually proves that those ideas work. All of them suggest, that person A did X thing and had Y result, so you also will get similar results in your life by taking similar steps.

    But this is where this book stands different. It actually tells you why the points mentioned work, & when can they not work. Actually, it doesn't give you some 'work for all' tips, it just teaches you to find your own way of living, & learning from life & how to deal with the emotions that sometimes give very hazy picture of reality.

    The writing style is also very connecting & examples taken are very relatable. Does feel that it is actually written by a reputed Psychologist and not by a shouting, self proclaimed life coach.

    I highly recommend.
  • Alex
    5.0 out of 5 stars Simply amazing how one book can have such an effect on one's whole world!
    Reviewed in Canada on October 16, 2018
    Simply put, this book has changed my life in serendipitous, awe-inspiring, amazing, fantastic, remarkable and lasting ways.

    I had been let go from my company and taking it all personally, begrudging the entire corporate world and blaming myself for not being able to fit in. A terrible time of brooding and "negative" emotions which I was trying desperately to make "positive" as we are wont to do.

    By sheer force of universal attraction, spending my days at the local library as a means to make a better working routine for myself, I was greeted with this book on display in the self-improvement section.

    What possessed me to pick it up and start reading it? I was hooked by the introduction as it described my present circumstances to a T.

    This book has enabled me to breathe again, to be free to feel again, to know my feelings and embrace them in ways I had not ever believed were possible.

    Get off the sadness-happiness continuum and welcome fear, anger, disgust, contempt, shame, guilt and envy back into your life! You will be so glad you did. I can't possibly put it into words, but these so-called "negative" emotions help us to no end! They help to guide our course as we navigate the often bizarre and arduous waters of the corporate ocean and the narrow yet convoluted rivulets of the family relationships we seemingly can't budge.

    Learn how to understand your feelings, thoughts and instincts, how to get unstuck and create healthy growth habits. It's the very way to live and grow as a human being, the foundation of one's identity and interactions with others.

    Buying my second or third copy, would care to give one to every person I know and often have conversations in public that start with "you know, human emotions are the most misunderstood and helpful qualities we possess yet we shun them and treat them as unwanted baggage -- they're evolutionary adaptations that have brought us such advantage we all carry them with us until the present day!

    Buy this book and read the intro -- I guarantee it'll change the way you live for the better

    Buy a second copy for someone in your life you care for and read them the first few pages

    Learn to connect with higher values and intellect and to 'walk your why' as a means to make it to your destination -- welcome and be welcomed by the whole glorious world

    Best wishes from Toronto, Canada!
  • JORGE SERRANO FALCONI
    5.0 out of 5 stars Emocional agility
    Reviewed in Mexico on October 5, 2018
    Es un libro muy enriquecedor, te permite ver el mundo en un tono más real en donde lo bueno y lo malo coexisten. Tener la comprensión, pragmática y disposición de aceptar eso no siempre es fácil, pero si necesario para poder disfrutar más de la vida.
    Recomiendo el libro a profesionales de la salud y a todos aquellos que quieren ser más reales, con tristezas, alegrías, penas, logros. A los padres que se preocupan por criar buenos hijos, espero los ayude a encontrar en ese camino tal difícil que es la crianza y que como todo en la vida, no viene con un instructivo
  • ViDü
    5.0 out of 5 stars An absolute must-read: Brilliant and revolutionary!
    Reviewed in Germany on November 2, 2019
    There are books...and then there are special books. Special books written from the heart, well researched and practical. Special books with a true intention to help the reader improve his/her emotional state and quality of life.

    ‘Emotional Agility’ by Susan David, Ph.D., is one of these special books. It is an absolute must-read if you want to know how to better cope with crises, deal with change and get “unstuck” of repeating wearing thought patterns and emotions. Her book is definitely part of my top 3 collection when it comes to emotional agility and emotional intelligence! Susan David brilliantly describes the meaning of emotional agility and gives valuable tips and techniques on how to handle your emotions in the fast paced and challenging times we are living in.

    David explains that labeling your emotions with distinct vocabulary is the key to dealing with them. She also encourages to ask yourself, what the function of your emotion is, meaning: What can it be useful for and what is its intention? What is buried underneath it and what is it telling you? Therefore you may always ask yourself “what the func?”, questioning the function of your emotion, which helps you to create a healthy distance to it.

    Some of my favorite parts are:

    „...This means seeing feelings not as being ,good’ or ‚bad‘ but as just ‚being‘. Yes, there is this relentless assumption in our culture that we need to do something when we have inner turmoil. We must struggle with it, fix it, control it, exert brute-force willpower over it, remain positive. What we really need to do, though, is also what is most simple and obvious: nothing. That is, to just welcome these inner experiences, breathe into them and learn their contours without racing for the exits.“

    „When you are emotionally agile, you don’t waste energy wrestling with your impulses. You simply make choices that are connected to what you value.“

    I love how David explains how to get „unhooked“ of your spiral thoughts by „showing up“ to your emotions, then „stepping out“ and „walking your why“.

    Brilliant and revolutionary! What an amazing read. I know this sounds a bit overly excited, but I truly am impressed and can’t help but expressing my contentment! Mind you, I have marked important passages on almost every second page! Since I work as a speaker and trainer on the subject of mindset, emotional intelligence and agility, I am always happy to find such a high quality book about it and glad to recommend it to my clients. So much valuable information, many new perspectives, in-depth studies, practical tools, tips and refreshing inspirational thoughts on the subject: Everything I wish for in a personal development book. Thank you, Susan David, for this fantastic piece of work!