Shaving any part of your body can be pretty difficult. There are the bloody cuts, the irritation, the redness, the ingrown hairs... the list goes on and on. All in all, it's a perilous practice, whether it's on your face or your chest, but it's never more treacherous than when it comes to shaving your pubes.
When you head down south, shaving turns into a dangerous game of Russian Roulette, including the blood, tears, and horror. One wrong swipe of the razor or inexperienced slip of the electric trimmer and suddenly you're in a scary movie, complete with the guts and gore. "Ouch" is an understatement.
Despite the risks, 60 percent of men say they would shave their genitals at a partner's request. How can it be done safely? Well, just check out these Reddit horror stories – and do exactly the opposite as these poor people did. Just like your balls, this advice is timeless. Your balls will thank you.
Ouch!
"[The] first time I tried shaving my balls I was so nervous that using shaving cream completely just slipped my mind. It hurt, the hairs were getting ripped out and shit. I cut myself like 20 times, my crotch was covered in blood and cuts and was prickly and I just all around did a horrible job." —Chandysauce
YIKES
"I was trimming everything up with the clippers. Took the guard off for a nice, close trim. Everything was going fine until I got to the coin purse. I learned that day that the scrotum skin is just thin enough to get caught in the blades of a standard set of trimmers. There was blood." —Ted_Denslow
NOPE
For another Reddit user, a routine clean-up turned into a major debacle.
"So I decide it's about time I tidied up the downstairs department, especially since my birthday was coming up, and me and my GF had every intention of sneaking away during the party for some super happy fun time."
After skipping the electric razor, the Redditor reported encountering an ingrown hair but didn't detect anything out of the ordinary, at least for a little while.
"Job well done? NO! There is now a massive spot half way up my chubby! That looks horrid. I ended up Google stuff and ended up on STIs... I've slept around a bit recently and my GF had a down period where she did too. We'd done the deed for the first time without protection the night before and a few days after the party while the spot was just a smooth red bump...
After this I woke up the next day to a spot about as wide as a H2 pencil that started to get a sort of 'head' on it. It's been almost a week now and I've Google it a ton and I've given myself the fear I have herpes..." —PapaFern
Call 911
One Reddit user knew a man whose shaving job was so botched that "he cut his balls so bad he had to get one removed."
After slipping while shaving in the mirror, the Redditor said his friend saw blood and immediately knew he need to head to the hospital.
"He took the hand towel and held it on his balls and threw on some sweat pants. He then drove himself to the hospital where they ended up removing his one nut."
But as if that wasn't bad enough, the horror didn't stop there
"To make matters worse when his mom got home she though something really bad had happened, like murder bad. There was a ton of blood on the bathroom floor and drops of blood leading out through the house and outside to where her son's car should have been. She called the cops." —swanyMcswan
FIRST. DEGREE. BURNS.
"In college, I got sick of the shaving, so decided to use Nair down there.
I'm in the shower, having enjoyed some marijuana before hand, and rubbed the lotion all over my junk. It was a great shower, good steam, and I had a shower beer with me...
Lost track of time, and left the hair remover on for 20 minutes. Had some 1st degree burns every where. Not so great." —Sully1102
Pube Perfect
If you're hoping to avoid scarring your scrotum or otherwise going Edward Scissorhands on your junk, these two helpful products will help both during the process and afterward.
This affordable and well-reviewed razor from the reliable, genius minds of Philips Norelco is worthy of getting all up close and personal with the family jewels. It's made for body grooming, so it can handle even the densest of forests, especially if you exfoliate and prep the pubes beforehand. At less than $40, it's almost worth the cost of castration.
If you suffer from the dreaded annoyance of ingrown hairs, FUR's natural, skin-softening oil is made to calm irritated skin and soothe the pores after the trauma of the big chop.
